Domestic and sexual abuse of Sikh women who have been silenced, revealed | Domestic violence
“Toxic cultural practices” and lack of culturally sensitive services mean that many women who are victims of domestic and sexual abuse in Sikh society are suffering in silence, according to the first comprehensive report on the problem.
The report by Sikh Women’s Aid (SWA), the UK’s only frontline service for Sikh women, will be released later this week to coincide with the launch of UN Women’s annual 16 days of activism against gender-based violence. It creates a shocking picture of the prevalence and impact of domestic violence and sexual abuse of children in Sikh society.
The survey was conducted over a period of four months during the summer, during which SWA distributed anonymous surveys to the community across the UK.
Researchers received responses from nearly 700 respondents, and of those, 70% said they had experienced domestic violence, nearly half had experienced incidents involving more than one perpetrator, including female members of their family. Over a third of respondents said they had experienced sexual abuse of children, and of these incidents, one in seven involved more than one perpetrator. Most victims knew their abuser, and nearly half of the assaults took place in the home.
Gender equality is one of the core beliefs of the Sikh faith, but, says the SWA, patriarchal societal practices derived from cultural traditions, such as notions of honor, mean that many survivors are afraid to speak out.
However, awareness of these issues is growing after several high-profile cases, including the murder of 43-year-old Ranjit Gill from Milton Keynes earlier this year. She was stabbed 18 times by her “dominant and bullying” husband Anil Gill in an alcohol and cocaine driven attack.
While domestic and sexual assaults affects all ethnicities, cultures and backgrounds, said the founders of Sikh Women’s Aid and the authors of the report, Sahdaish Pall and Sukhvinder Kaur, said that a lack of specialist support that met the needs of women in the Sikh community created “a generation of young women who are completely lost. ”.
The results of the report will be used by the SWA to create services tailored to the specific needs and cultural nuances that victims of abuse within the Sikh Panjabi community face.
“Out of all the South Asian societies, Sikh women are the least likely to come forward for abuse. We appear to be a very prosperous, educated and rewarding society, and that reputation makes it very difficult for Sikh women to emerge,” he said. Pall.
“There are issues that are specific to our culture, such as the link between alcohol and domestic violence and sexuality. We have a huge drinking culture among men, and the amounts people consume exacerbate the problems.”
“There is also a lack of education about things like compulsory control. The perception of the parent generation is that if you have not been beaten, it is not abuse. There is often an intergenerational and toxic normalization and acceptance of violence against women. “
The taboo around discussing sexual assault is particularly prevalent, and topics such as victim-shaming and cultural notions of honor and shame, which have no basis in religious doctrine, often become weapons against victims to ensure their silence.
Nimrit *, 39, from London, who was abused by her uncle between the ages of eight and 13, said her family’s fear of not finding a good husband for her meant she had to keep quiet about her abuse.
“From the outside, we looked like the perfect family, but behind closed doors was a different story. My uncle was a pillar of society who was active in the gurdwara [Sikh place of worship]. He would come and live in our house, and during these visits he would abuse me, ”she said.
“Eventually I told it to my cousin and made her promise not to tell anyone, but she told it to her mother, who told it to my mother. My mother slapped me in the face and started sobbing and saying ‘. who will marry you now? ‘ She said that if I was not a virgin, I should get married right away, so I lied and said he was only touching me. We had to keep it a secret from my father, because it was her brother, and it today he has no idea, it kills me when I hear him say nice things about my uncle.
She continued: “I had to keep it a secret to protect the family, but secrets like it eat you up inside. A guy from uni once tapped my shoulder to get my attention and I screamed in his face.
“I had an arranged marriage and the physical side of the relationship was tough when I got flashbacks, but I could not tell my husband about my past, so I just shut down. I’m just trying to live a normal life.
“There is more awareness of these issues in society now, compared to when I was a child, but people have to say no without being punished for it, otherwise the abuse will not stop.”
Sexual abuse in Sikh society is “almost like the perfect crime,” according to Sukhvinder Kaur, because the likelihood of someone being prosecuted is so low. “Not only is there a shortage of convictions, but society is geared to protect the reputation of the perpetrators,” she said.
One of the most sensitive issues that the report addresses is care. The report found that the widespread perception in society that the majority of victims of sexual abuse were exploited by non-Sikh grooming gangs is false. This finding in particular has led to a setback against the report’s authors.
“There are several assaults where the perpetrator is known by the victim and the family. Our society denies it, “Kaur said.
Dame Vera Baird, the Commissioner for Victims for England and Wales, who will be present at the official launch of the report later this week, said it highlighted the need for “culturally appropriate support organizations for black, Asian and other minority women who are neglected by the criminal justice system and provide specialist support ”.
“I welcome this report, although it is difficult [do that] when it shows that there is widespread covert violence against women and girls in Sikh society, ”she said.
Former Chief Prosecutor Nazir Afzal added: “It is a testament to the SWA’s courage that we have this report at all given the hostility they have been subjected to. Nothing in this report should surprise anyone involved in protection.
“Any strategy that focuses on what men ‘should do’ instead [on] men’s violence will always fail. Any successful response will involve addressing male power while supporting the victims. “
* Not her real name
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