Details about Biden’s childhood vaccination plan

The White House on Wednesday unveiled its plan to vaccinate 28 million American children against Covid-19. Onion looks at the key details of Biden’s childhood vaccination plan.

• Start with the popular kids, and assume the rest will fall in line.
• Vaccine molecules designed in fun animal forms.
• Federal pizza party for fourth grade with the highest vaccination rate.
• Requires vaccinations for children working full time at companies with more than 100 employees.
• Educational collaboration with distinguished epidemiologists that the children trust.
• Each mall Santa will be disguised as a nurse who has been vaccinated.
• $ 20 million program to combat misinformation on the playground.
• Explain to children that it is no different than any other painful shot a doctor gives them.
• Recruit dozens of TikTok stars to bully children into getting vaccinated.

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